Song: Putting the Damage On by Tori Amos.
Mood:
Kind of Tea: Mango white tea :)
Quote of the Day:
"but now i'm wishing
for my best impression
of my best angie dickinson
but now i've got to worry
cause boy you still look pretty
when you're putting the damage on." Tori Amos
So today my husband and I had a big blow out. HUGE fight actually. It all started last night when I had bad acid reflux. It sucked. My head hurt and my esophagus felt like I had swallowed a flaming sword. My husband asked (or rather told me, it's hard to decipher which is which with him lol) to make dinner. The way I remember it was that he told me to get cheese from the store and then cook grilled cheese. I'm thinking grilled cheese is the last thing I wanted to eat (to be honest I was fine with milk) but if I was to eat it certainty wouldn't be that.
I tell him no and that I was in pain. He says that he asked me to make something (anything) then. However, I didn't remember this at all. In fact I remember thinking that if he went to the store to get cheese that I could at least make the damn things. But oh well I didn't say it. I kept silent, watching the t.v, and couldn't think about anything except the pain I felt in my chest (the headache sided after the first cup of milk).
Anyways, long story short, he thought I was ignoring him and being a dick. So he slept downstairs and I slept upstairs. I didn't want to apologize. I felt bad and therefore didn't make dinner. Was I ignoring my "wifely duties" I dont think so, but to him I did.
He and I didn't talk much for a day and a half. He slept downstairs that night too.
So then he wanted me to apologize and I said that I didn't need to. So then he got angry (I quickly learned early in the relationship that his anger is derived from him being quite over sensitive) and took things to a whole nother level. Basically, he said I either had to apologize or get kicked out.
My best friend had come and helped me put the pets, my books (a 1/4th of them really), clothes, and shoes in her car. I was about to go and never come back.
But then he said something profound. What was it? I can't share it to the world. Only three people will ever know what he said and I'm one of them. The other two are my husband and best friend. No others need to know. Everyone else will have to take my word that it was, and I will say it again, profound.
Enough that both of us apologized to one another and both of us want to work on our major characteristic flaws. His off-the-wall-in-your-face-scary anger and my absolutely-don't-want-to-get-up laziness. Now I still don't think the other night was me being lazy, I felt like shit, but of course this fight wasn't truly about not making dinner. There were other instances involved.
So now, the next day,(I wrote this post on two different days, sorry :o ) I am in my living room. Sammy and Alex are here chilling with us. We're watching a replay of Dream (MMA) and as these two men twist and maul each other the rest of the house is at peace. It's nice, it's normal. And I hope it stays that way for awhile.
Mood:
Kind of Tea: Mango white tea :)
Quote of the Day:
"but now i'm wishing
for my best impression
of my best angie dickinson
but now i've got to worry
cause boy you still look pretty
when you're putting the damage on." Tori Amos
So today my husband and I had a big blow out. HUGE fight actually. It all started last night when I had bad acid reflux. It sucked. My head hurt and my esophagus felt like I had swallowed a flaming sword. My husband asked (or rather told me, it's hard to decipher which is which with him lol) to make dinner. The way I remember it was that he told me to get cheese from the store and then cook grilled cheese. I'm thinking grilled cheese is the last thing I wanted to eat (to be honest I was fine with milk) but if I was to eat it certainty wouldn't be that.
I tell him no and that I was in pain. He says that he asked me to make something (anything) then. However, I didn't remember this at all. In fact I remember thinking that if he went to the store to get cheese that I could at least make the damn things. But oh well I didn't say it. I kept silent, watching the t.v, and couldn't think about anything except the pain I felt in my chest (the headache sided after the first cup of milk).
Anyways, long story short, he thought I was ignoring him and being a dick. So he slept downstairs and I slept upstairs. I didn't want to apologize. I felt bad and therefore didn't make dinner. Was I ignoring my "wifely duties" I dont think so, but to him I did.
He and I didn't talk much for a day and a half. He slept downstairs that night too.
So then he wanted me to apologize and I said that I didn't need to. So then he got angry (I quickly learned early in the relationship that his anger is derived from him being quite over sensitive) and took things to a whole nother level. Basically, he said I either had to apologize or get kicked out.
My best friend had come and helped me put the pets, my books (a 1/4th of them really), clothes, and shoes in her car. I was about to go and never come back.
But then he said something profound. What was it? I can't share it to the world. Only three people will ever know what he said and I'm one of them. The other two are my husband and best friend. No others need to know. Everyone else will have to take my word that it was, and I will say it again, profound.
Enough that both of us apologized to one another and both of us want to work on our major characteristic flaws. His off-the-wall-in-your-face-scary anger and my absolutely-don't-want-to-get-up laziness. Now I still don't think the other night was me being lazy, I felt like shit, but of course this fight wasn't truly about not making dinner. There were other instances involved.
So now, the next day,(I wrote this post on two different days, sorry :o ) I am in my living room. Sammy and Alex are here chilling with us. We're watching a replay of Dream (MMA) and as these two men twist and maul each other the rest of the house is at peace. It's nice, it's normal. And I hope it stays that way for awhile.
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